Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Snippet from a newspaper along with my smartassed commentary:
MOSS BLUFF, Fla. (AP) --
“A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.”
A man beat his roommate to death with a couple of hammers because he was out of toilet paper? I’m glad he was out of toilet paper. The hammers were probably a whole lot quicker.
Imagine getting beaten to death with a roll of toilet paper. That would take a bloody long time unless you soaked it in water and froze it first.
*bap bap bap bap*
Bloody hell. Wait here while I freeze this damned thing.
Give me an hour or two
(a soaked roll of toilet paper, a freezer, and a couple of hours later)
There. Now we’re making progress.
*WHAM WHAM WHAM*
I knew I should have used the 4lb sledge. This could have been over hours ago…