Rain.

It seems like the world is being sympathetic tonight.

The weather matches my mood.

It's raining.

No thunder. No lightning. No high winds. Just a sort of sad, heavy rain.

Rain falls from the sky
landing sadly on the ground
angels with torn wings

Current mood: sad
Current music: Eureka Seven soundtrack - Rainbow

I am sorry that I wasn't able to be there so very often when you needed me.

Current mood:
Current music: Collapsis - October

Late night pondering.

You know, it's funny. I always seem to get the urge to train in the middle of the night.

It doesn't seem to matter how exhausting the day has been or if I should sleep. I just get the urge to practice - weapons forms, empty hand techniques, stances, striking... It doesn't seem to matter *what* I train in. I just want to train.

I'd ask why it happens in the middle of the night, but I already know the answer to that question.

It's the same reason I go walking through whatever town or city I happen to be in at 3 in the morning.

Night is when my mind starts to wander the most and the questions come. The training and walking seems to give me something else to focus on for a little while instead of spending that time thinking about things that will, in the end, frequently serve to cause me pain.

It's certainly better than laying restlessly in bed, beating myself up for things I can't change now.

Don't get me wrong. There are good things floating around in my head as well, but late night seems to be the domain of the ones that aren't that pleasant, and I've learned to at least try to work through them.

It's not like I sleep much anyway.

Current mood: tired
Current music: Puddle of Mud - Blurry

New Math?

A few days ago, the local paper ran a notice that Palin would be here in Ohio doing fundraising.

This isn't particularly surprising. What caught my attention was the price for the meetup in Cincinnati.

$2,500 for a single person or $10,000 for a couple.

Interesting discount program the republicans are running - Bring your wife or husband along for just 4 times the price of a single ticket. This ticket price is to see the woman who was for the Bridge to Nowhere, then when the uproar over it started, she said "thanks but no thanks" (after the money was approved, mind you), and then kept the money to use for other things.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that sort of a no-no?

Somehow that makes perfect sense given the insanity of the Republican candidates...

Hey, McCain did say that he didn't know anything about economics. I think this just sort of proves it unless you think the photo you supposedly get to have taken with Palin should you buy the couples ticket is worth the extra 5 grand.

Of course, if you don't want the couples ticket, you could always opt for the $25,000 VIP reception tickets. (I believe that was per person, though I may be mistaken).

These are the people that so many of the residents in this area want leading the country? People who seem to think that 2*2500 = 10000? A supposed "maverick" that votes with Bush 90% of the time and the governor of a state with a population less than that of the capitol of this state who has, by the way, been immersed in scandal since she was allegedly vetted?

I think I'll pass.

Current mood: tired
Current music: none

Progress.

I seem to have had a little success in my quest to get back to something more like my old self since I made the post last month.

I certainly haven't totally become like I was before, and, honestly, I never will because I'm a different person now. However, I have begun to regain some of the positive aspects of the way I used to be.

I'm becoming more outgoing again and am more prone to dance and sing (I know that probably frightens some people who know me lol). The jokes are coming more easily lately (in fact, I nearly made someone nasally eject coffee today heh), and I actually laugh on occasion.

Granted, I still have my down days, but they don't seem to be as frequent. I view that as a good thing.

It does come with some downsides. For one, my bullshit threshold is a bit lower, but that may not be a completely bad thing either.

At least I am getting back to my old mindset of taking the world by the horns and ripping it's head off =]

I get this feeling that something interesting is coming around the corner, and, if not, I'll find it and drag its ass around the corner *grin*

Current mood: tired
Current music: Everclear - Santa Monica

Going To Extremes.

Given the hurricane that hit New Orleans, I made a call to a friend of mine today who lives there just to make sure that he, the wife, and the dog were okay.

"Yeah, we're in Alaska"

I'm sorry, but I thought you said something about the Great White North. I know they said to evacuate, but wasn't that a little extreme?

It turns out that they were on vacation and left home a few days early due to the evac order.

However, I am rather certain that my facial expression was pretty amusing, because when he said he was in Alaska, I just sort of stood there for a second. I think the next thing out of my mouth was "huh?" lol

I love my friends. If nothing else, they keep me on my toes... =]

Current mood: tired
Current music: The Bravery - Believe