My Take on Professional Codes of Conduct at Conferences

 

Preface: Please keep in mind that I am not trivializing sexual harassment or sexual assault. I have loved people who have been victims of sexual harassment, sexual assault and even rape. I myself have been a victim of sexual harassment and sexual assault.

I am offering an open, honest opinion from someone who has not only the right to an opinion as a person, but a sense of perspective as the victim of and friend of victims of sexual harassment/assault. You are allowed to agree or disagree with me as your conscience so dictates.

 

Recently, there’s been a lot of push to force software development conferences to have a code of conduct.

Honestly, any code of conduct that could be adopted for a professional conference could be limited to “Be a professional” or “Don’t be an ass”. We’re all supposed to be there to learn new things, maybe to meet new people, see old friends, and generally grow as professionals and individuals (male, female, gay, straight, bi, black, white, red, yellow, green, polka dotted and everything in between).

A lot of what sparked off the recent debate was an incident that happened at a regional conference a year or so ago (and I will admit was completely unacceptable. In fact, it was horrifying, honestly).

However, a conference code of conduct wouldn’t have done anything to prevent the incident for a few reasons:

 

1) It only came to light *months* after it happened (if you don’t say anything, nothing can be done by the organizers. I know some of the organizers and you’d be hard pressed to find a better, more caring group of people. If they had known, they would have done what they could.).

2)It happened before the conference even started, and not at the venue (it occurred at a bar at the resort the conference was held).

3) Having a code of conduct doesn't stop people from doing bad things. People stepping in and saying something while it happens or before it has a chance to happen does.

 

Having a Code of Conduct that prohibits unprofessional behavior at a professional venue is the conference version of security theater. The only thing it does is make people “feel” safer (and that’s, honestly, a disservice, because *life* isn’t safe and we need to be aware of that. It lets us better prepare for when things do go wrong – and given enough time, chances are something will happen to all of us).

It’s the equivalent of a store having a sign up that says “Don’t steal stuff or we’ll call the cops.” It should be common sense and, code of conduct or not, most conference staff that I have known will deal with any problems that arise.

 

Is there a solution?

 

Yes, well more or less, but like most real solutions, it’s not easy. The best solution is to be responsible for ourselves, to be decent people, and to look out for each other.

That last item is the big one. So many people now “don’t want to get involved” when they see something bad happening. There are a lot of reasons for this – Sometimes people don’t feel like their stepping in will solve anything. Sometimes they are afraid to say anything. Some of them even think that someone in a position of power should be taking care of it.

I have news for you: You need to swallow your fear and speak up when you see it happening anyway. It’s your duty as a member of society to help each other and that includes stepping in and asking if there’s a problem if something looks fishy.

We’ve become far too isolationist as individuals and have become conditioned to “let someone else deal with it”. That needs to change.

I’m not saying to lynch someone you see doing something questionable. Step in, make sure things are okay and then respond appropriately.

Yes, I’m a fairly large (some may say frightening looking) guy. Yes, I’ve been a victim of harassment and assault. No, I don’t think a Code of Conduct will change anything. Changing ourselves will. The demands for a Code of Conduct are just another cry to make it someone else's problem.

I do my part. If I see something “off”, I see if there is a problem and work to resolve it. I ask that others do the same. It’s the only way things will get better.

 

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Coldplay – Charlie Brown

 

Motivation

It’s generally really easy for me to keep going if I’ve already got a bit of momentum, but if things have derailed me and caused me to focus elsewhere, Newton’s First Law decides that it also applies to motivation and proceeds to kick my backside.

Translation – if I stop, it takes real work to get going again.

It’s also fair to say that, for me at least, large tasks are intimidating, but breaking them into smaller chunks makes them more manageable because it lets me just consider the current step and leave subsequent steps for a little later.

Big = difficult. Little = easier. Makes sense, right? Less stuff, less to be overwhelmed by.

Or, to paraphrase my sifu a bit “Concentrate on now right now. Later will come when it is time.”

A few years ago, I found a way to motivate myself when learning something new from a book or video as well as when working on projects. Thankfully it plays into the fact that I’m a big fan of marker boards (I have several in my office to help keep myself organized and to brainstorm) so it doesn’t take any additional expense on my part.

I write the name of the book or video series on the marker board and then put down the chapter or video numbers. As I work through it, I erase the numbers for the chapters that I’ve covered.

 

This does two things:

First, it lets me keep track of where I am. This is especially helpful if I’m doing a video series or a web-based lesson plan.

Second, it lets me see that I have actually been making progress so I don’t get lost in the feeling that I’m never going to get anywhere in what I’m doing (I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one that has this problem. It’s downright overwhelming to look at how much you have to learn, and every time you learn something, it shows you other things that you need to learn).

Some people will prefer to strike through the numbers or put a check mark next to them after they’ve finished, but I prefer to erase for one very simple reason – it lets me actually SEE the list of things I need to do shrink. If the numbers are still there, the size of the task never visually changes so my brain still says “Hey, there’s still this daunting list of things that we have to do.”

If I erase the numbers, my brain goes “Wow. We’re making progress! Maybe we can do this thing after all.”

Yes, it’s a stupid psychological trick, but in my case it works.

I guess that means it’s not so stupid after all…

 

Current mood: undecided

Current music: Adam and the Ants – Room at the Top

Restaurant Review: Rusty’s Wharf

It always seems that the really fun discoveries are made by chance. That is certainly the case this time.

While in Pataskala for some personal business, I saw a little plaza across the street (60 Oak Meadow Drive), and Karyl and I decided to put off our plans for dinner to check it out as neither of us had really noticed the place before.

I’m glad I did, because when I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted a sign that displayed the words “Fish & Chips” rather prominently. For those of you who know me, you know that I’m a big fan of those words and have been searching for a good fish and chips place in the area (I can’t help it. I miss the beach and haven’t been able to go there in ages).

Thankfully, my girlfriend totally agrees with my fish and chips addiction (and my seafood addiction in general, being another beach person), so we decided to have dinner there instead of our previous plans.

We weren’t disappointed at all.

Upon opening the door, we were greeted with the wonderful aroma of cooking seafood (not the smell of grease that so many places have). The décor was straight out of a North Carolina restaurant, but the thing that first caught my attention was the fact that there was a bottle of malt vinegar at each table. Score!

 

Even at just before 5:00pm on a Saturday, the place was pretty busy, but not so busy that it was excessively noisy or crowded. The tables were about half full and there was a steady stream of people and families coming in to get orders to go.

The staff was very nice, the menu, which is available on their website, was full of beach-side staples (fish and chips, clams, chowder, and the like as well as chicken for those who are less seafood inclined) and the prices were almost fast food-like. Karyl’s basket combo (which is a basket of seafood, fries and two hush puppies, a side, and a medium drink) was $6.50 and mine with an extra side of clams was $9.00.

After ordering, we got our drinks and found a seat to chat and wait until the food was brought out. A few minutes later, the baskets were brought out and we were in shock – the food not only looked amazing, there was a small mountain of food in our baskets. Below is a photo of my basket (cod and chips, with an extra piece of cod as my side and an extra side of clams):

The cod was nearly perfect. It was light and flaky instead of oily like so many places make it, the hush puppies were crispy outside and the consistency of good bread inside with a sweet cornbread flavor, the chips were above par, and the clams were very lightly spiced and tasted as though the batter were at least partially cornmeal based.

I can’t tell you how their desserts are because neither of us had room for it after the mountain of food.

Just as we were finishing up, one of the ladies who works there came up to ask us if we needed anything. Our response was that we didn’t (We honestly couldn’t have even considered anything else), but we did have a few questions.  Among other things, I was wondering if this was a chain I had never heard of or a one of a kind restaurant as they had several hallmarks of a chain – customized floor mats, gift cards, etc.

It turns out that it was not a chain, but was, in fact a family owned restaurant. The very nice lady that we were talking to was the owner along with her son and it seems that her husband, a general contractor, had done the build out for the space (having done a little carpentry with my father as a kid, I can say that the man did himself proud on that space. It was very well done).

What’s more, the restaurant has only been open since November though she has, in her words, been doing this for years and almost all of its business has been due to word of mouth. With a following that makes it look like it’s been there a couple of years at least, this is no small feat and is, in all honesty, a testament to the quality of the food and the service.

During our conversation, it also came out that they’re hoping to eventually open a second location (possibly in Gahanna) if things continue to go well. We can only hope that this happens and that the second location is as good as the original.

If you’re in the mood for good seaside food a very short drive from the Polaris/Westerville area (and most of the rest of Columbus, honestly), I can’t recommend Rusty’s Wharf enough. Give it a try. You won’t regret it.

Current mood – calm

Current music – Bruce Hornsby – Every Little Kiss

I’m not dead

Honestly.  I’m still somewhat alive.  It has, however, been a long winter.

There just hasn’t been a lot of time for blogging.  On top of writing code and interviewing, this winter has been a series of injuries (mostly weather related) and illnesses for me and Karyl as well as dealing with the standard stuff around the house.

The last time I can think of that we spent any real time out just relaxing was the day we had lunch with Jeremiah to wish him well before he moved and that was at the end of January.

I’ve been that busy.  We both have been, really.  To give you an idea of the level of insanity, K’s parents live just down the road and we almost never get a chance to see them.

I haven’t really even had much of a chance to go out and wander around snapping photos (hey, it relaxes me).  Most of the things on Flickr since the end of November have been of things in/around the house, photos of a CONDG meeting or were taken while we were running errands.

I actually posted some photos from my first digital camera earlier this month because I haven’t been able to take anything new.

One of the many downsides to being as busy as I have been is that I don’t exactly feel motivated to write anything of any real length.  I’ve been posting on twitter, but that’s about it.  Every time I’ve had an idea for a blog post, I’ve gotten bogged down with other things and then lost the inspiration to write, or, if I did write, it felt too forced to post.

There have been a number of times when we’ve decided that we should try to get someone to pay us to do a study on human hibernation, but we didn’t think anyone would go for that.  Besides which, if you consider what going to the bathroom after waking up is like, I can only imagine how bad it would be after sleeping for months on end.

Current mood - Tired (hey, it’s almost 1:30am)

Current music - Fleetwood Mac – Temporary One

Customer Service FAILURE

Please pardon me. I apologize, in advance, for any and all profanities which appear in this entry. Believe me, they are well and truly deserved.

A while back, the blower on the heating and air conditioning for my car went out. As I like to stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer (not to mention being able to melt the frost and ice off of my windshield), I consider getting it fixed to be of at least moderate importance. I had already tried a couple of things, but to no avail, so I was quite happy when Karyl’s father was able to diagnose the problem.

Her father is a pretty nice guy and an industrial mechanic. Thankfully, he’s also pretty good with cars, which are not exactly my strong suit. I can do a fair bit preventative maintenance and fix some problems (largely through the experience of having done them before with my own father), but a mechanic I’m not.

He even suggested a semi-local auto salvage yard where I could get the part pretty cheaply. He’d used them multiple times in the past and was generally pretty happy with the service, but hadn’t been there in a while.

Oh what a difference a little time makes.

Marshall’s Auto Parts, located in Circleville is indeed cheap. The materials cost of my part was a whopping $10. That, however, is where the happy portion of this story comes to a complete halt (at least until, I hope, we replace the heating and AC control unit so that it works properly).

The service was TERRIBLE.

They have a website where you can make sure they have the part in stock (which is kind of nice). Her father suggested I do what he had done in the past – go down, order the part, and then come back after it had been pulled. He even said we might be able to call ahead and order it before we left for there since they take credit cards.

The children at this business, however, are special and don’t like to play that way now.

I called and tried to order the part only to be informed that you have to order in person because it is “first come, first serve”. Dude, I’m offering to pay you in advance, so I *would* be first come. Take my money and give me my part.

No. And we’ve stopped pulling parts for the day. Try back next week. (It was over 2 hours until they closed for the day).

So I headed over early this afternoon, thinking that it wouldn’t be too busy in the middle of the day on a weekday. Wrong again.

Okay, most places like this are still pretty quick, so I wasn’t horribly concerned. (This is where you can openly call me an idiot. I know I did afterward.)

I finally get to order my part and get told there are 8 people in front of me, so I asked if it was alright if I left to get a couple of other things done while the part was in queue to be pulled.

No. You can’t leave. If you’re gone when we finally get to your part, and we ask if you’re there, we’ll throw your order in the trash (and he was being serious).

So, again, I offered to pay in advance, only to be refused, being told that the part had to be paid for only when it was handed to you. (Which is bullshit, but moving on)

Three hours later, they get my part. Let me repeat that. Three hours later. Three hours. *Three* HOURS later, I FINALLY get my TEN DOLLAR part for which I was not allowed to leave lest my order be tossed in the trash.

By this point I was LONG past the angry stage and, frankly (and, again, please pardon my language) I WAS PISSED OFF. Justifiably so, I think (as does Karyl's father). I was seriously ready to drag the smarmy little douche over the counter and then toss him back over, minus a few pieces (and it takes a LOT to get me to that point).

The part that takes the cake though? Toward the end of the time I had to spend there waiting for no good reason, I hear them getting phone calls about SHIPPING PARTS TO RESIDENTIAL CUSTOMERS IN OTHER PARTS OF THE COUNTRY.

Now, tell me WHY will they do THAT, yet they won’t let me pay IN ADVANCE and then just come and pick up the part? For crying out loud, I could have (and gladly WOULD have) ordered it and had it SHIPPED if for no other reason because it would have been cheaper than *my* cost of part + gas (to mention nothing of the amount of my time that you wasted and the meteoric rise in my blood pressure).

That was the point, dear readers, at which James nearly snapped and started killing people.

In closing, let me say this – if you ever need a part, do NOT consider Marshall’s Auto Parts unless you have them SHIP it. In fact, let me just shorten that to do NOT consider Marshall's Auto Parts.

And to the power tripping douchebags at Marshall’s, you have cost me a day of my life that I will never get back and went out of your way to make that day well and truly suck for no good reason (as you did to each and every one of your other customers that I saw that day). In return, I will do everything that I reasonably can to cost you business. You’ve earned at LEAST that much.

Current mood: Angry doesn’t even cover it
Current music: Soundgarden – Loud Love

I've Moved. Can I Have a Nap Now?

I apologize for the lack of communication both on the blog and twitter the last couple of weeks. I swear that I’m not dead. I’ve just been insanely busy. A lot of things have been happening.

A couple of weeks ago, I moved to Columbus. It reminded me that I hate moving and that I have muscles I keep forgetting about.

It also reminded me how depressing it is to see the material representation of your life transformed into a small mountain of boxes with hastily scribbled notes on them like “Glasses – FRAGILE” and “Books – Computer”. It seems somehow slightly dehumanizing to see things that are important to you being just another box of stuff that you have to find space for in a cargo van.

The move itself went pretty smoothly. My cat even took it pretty well, which was a big concern for me as well as for Karyl. In fact, if you want to have a look at the cat aspects of the move, she’s been chronicling the ordeal over at her blog (link is for the first post in the series).

Now we’re just hoping that her cat calms down since the stress is causing her some health issues (or, rather, aggravating a pre-existing one). We were convinced that my cat would be the problem as far as adjustment goes, but it seems that we were wrong.

The last couple of weeks have been taken up pretty much from the time I get up in the morning until I crash at night with far too many things at once (household, professional, personal, and even just trying to figure out where the heck all of my stuff is). On the upside, all of the running around has gotten me a little more familiar with some of my more frequently visited parts of Columbus, so my GPS is spending more time in my bag than it is on the windshield.

The downside of all of the hectic running around is that I’m not really sure what day it is anymore. I actually have to look at my phone and calendar to figure out when it is and what the heck I have coming down the pipe at me right now. Thankfully, that should improve before too long as things start to get a bit saner and we get into some sort of routine that doesn’t make either of us want to run around screaming. =]

To give you an idea of how busy I’ve been, I got to take off about 3 hours one evening a week ago to unwind and play Diablo 2. It’s seriously been that hectic.

The sad thing is that, when I get the new position (which is part of the hectic day to day stuff – interviewing is easier now that I’m closer, but I feel brain fried afterward), I’m seriously considering asking to start a week later just so I can breathe and possibly catch up on sleep lol

I hope that all of you are well and that I haven’t missed anything big.

Current mood: Tired
Current music: The Pillows - Little Busters

Mentorship and Community

If you ask some of the people who know me well, you’ll find out that I’m pretty big on community in both professional life and life in general. Personally, I view it as a way to help others, be helped, and be exposed to things that you might not otherwise consider.

Since I graduated from college, it has seemed like, professionally, I’ve been on my own. I’ve had friends, but it felt like I had no sense of professional community.

From my viewpoint, it’s like I’ve been trapped in some sort of insular bubble and the only direction and inspiration for “what do I learn next” has been stumbled upon by either bare necessity of a project I’ve been working on or through running across a mention of something in an article online. This is, to be honest, a Sisyphean task and, after a while, it starts to become discouraging.

I’ve missed the sense of community, knowledge sharing, and mentorship that I had while I was in the last couple of years of high school and throughout my time in college. Due to the exposure to other people and their ideas, my own ideas seemed to flow much more smoothly and I worried less about making mistakes because there was always someone that I could bounce ideas off of or go to for advice.

Professional development seems to be so much more difficult when you feel like you’re doing everything on your own. Add to that the fact that we are inherently social creatures, and being on your own can be nerve wracking.

Last night, I had a realization: I seem to have found that sense of community and mentorship again. And it’s on…Twitter?

Okay, to be fair, it’s in person as well since I get to see a lot of the people I talk to at least once a month, but the bulk of conversations occur over digital medium (twitter, email, and Live messenger primarily).

Roughly a year and a half ago, I found CONDG online when I went looking to see if there were any .NET developer’s groups nearby (I know. Novel idea.). Their most recently listed meeting at the time had a twitter link for the presenter, so having just gotten twitter a few weeks before, I clicked on the link and checked out their stream.

It just sort of went from there.

Now I’ve gone from basically knowing nobody in the field in this geographic area (since most of my college friends in CS were from other parts of the state/country/world) to knowing a number of them and feeling much more like a person again than I did a year or so ago.

It’s nice to be part of a group of people who help each other out, offer advice, chat, joke around and hang out together on occasion, and, when needed, give a kick in the ass to get you going again.

I’ve missed the camaraderie and exposure to new things and viewpoints. Maybe even more than I realized. It’s also nice to know that I’m not the only one that experiences self doubt about their abilities and worries about failure (Even if Phil Japikse does use it as an opportunity to make a good-natured joke at my expense heh).

I try to give back as well, but I sometimes worry that I take more than I give in return. I honestly hope that isn’t the case, because they’ve all been great, and I don’t want to put any of them out. I also don’t want to feel like I’m being a bother

What brought on this realization? The feedback from my last post, mostly sparked by the first commenter, who called me arrogant. I got tweets and emails from a number of people that I follow and have met with advice and constructive criticism on both the post, aspects of my professional development, and my resume as well as assuring me that the post was not, in fact, arrogant but generally fairly sensible.

I appreciate the support, advice and critiques. Some changes have already been made to the resume (paring down some of the older experience, breaking out skills by skill level, etc) and others are planned.

As a (rather large) added bonus, I’ve started to feel a lot more social over the last year. I view this as a great thing because I basically used to be a social butterfly (as difficult as that may be for some people to believe).

Thanks again, guys. You’ve been great and I hope that I am able to return the favor in at least some small way.

Current mood: humbled
Current music: Bush – Swallowed

Stir Trek 2 – Brief Review, Musings, and Mayhem
(I apologize if this is a little long, but it covers a decent amount of ground)

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been averaging about 5 hours or so of sleep a night due to studying, interviews, preparing for interviews and trying to get actual work done. It seems like I’m never making any headway, because the list of things I need to take care of is growing so quickly lately (but, honestly, that’s largely a positive thing considering the items getting stored in my queue).

That said, I was really looking forward to attending Stir Trek, a local developer conference. Admittedly, I was also sort of dreading taking the time off because I knew I’d feel guilty for losing the day and a half from all of the tasks I currently have. However, I knew I both needed the break and would get more out of it than the time I lost by going.

I’m glad I did.

The night before, there was a geek dinner at the food court in Polaris Fashion Place with a pretty large turnout. It was a fun and pretty relaxed event, and a nice way to ease into my “weekend”.

The conference itself was great, and full of things that I now want to look into. I stuck mainly to the web dev and RIA tracks, but wandered over into the UX talk as well.

For those of you who are actually curious as to which talks I went to, here’s the rundown:

• ASP.NET MVC v2 by Steve Horn
• Understanding User Experience Design Patterns by Ambrose Little
• JQueryUI – The Magic From Behind The Curtain by Phil Japikse
• What's New in ASP.NET 4.0 by Steve Smith

The presentation materials should be up on the presenters’ sites in the near future, so keep an eye out if any of the synopses sound interesting.

The last session was really a toss up between the ASP.NET talk and Bill Sempf’s “Economics of Cloud Computing”. I was kind of upset that I had to chose, but that happens sometimes.

Thankfully, I had a minute to stop in before Bill’s talk and say hello in person since we’ve been speaking over twitter and MSN so much lately. I dropped off a box of tea that I’d brought for him (yes, I got to tea bag the mighty Sempf heh) and I got a copy of his new book, C# All In One to read and review.

This means that my work queue just got a little longer, but I’m glad to do it for a number of reasons - among them because it’s always nice to have quality reference materials and the fact that Bill’s a good guy. He’s also one of the many people who have been helping me on my current job search, so the least I can do is lend a hand in return.

It also means that I get to play part of my former role as an editor again, which is kind of neat.

One of the other great things about the conference was that I got to meet a lot of people in person for the first time that I’d been talking to on twitter as well as meeting a large number of new people and getting to hang out with people that I’ve known in the community for varying amounts of time.

To top it off, I finally got to repay my debt to Phil Japikse by poking him with a stick (I threatened to do it months ago, but it’s the first time since then that I’ve seen him). I also got to heckle him good naturedly a little as well as help solve a minor technical problem. =]

I love Phil. He’s a decent guy and one of the many people I’ve met since I started going to CONDG who amaze me by how much they give back in the form of time, experience, inspiration and encouragement.

To be honest, I love pretty much all of the Columbus dev community that I’ve met so far. They’ve made me feel welcome since the first meeting I went to.

For the movie this year, we had Iron Man 2. All that needs to be said is that it was amazing and under “Badass” in the dictionary, it says “See: Tony Stark. See Also: Natasha Romanoff.”

Karyl and I were going to drop in on the geek dinner after the movie, but it appeared to be pretty crowded and we were both feeling a little overloaded (the conference had 600 people registered and it’s been a while since I’ve been in a crowd of that size for that long. Add on the stress of the last few weeks, and I basically just wanted to wind down gracefully before driving out of there).

I apologize to anyone who was hoping to hang out at the dinner. I had planned to attend; I just sort of reached my stimulus threshold. Hopefully we’ll get the chance to hang out another time.

Current mood: tired, but good
Current music: Aerosmith – Deuces Are Wild

I Have Email Again!

If you emailed me in the last two weeks and haven’t gotten a response, I apologize profusely, because I didn’t get it. I had to switch over to my gmail account because my domain email was down.

If you tried to reach me and haven’t gotten a response, please, email me again and I will do my level best to respond with all due haste.

My (now former) hosting company was great when I first signed on with them a number of years ago. For the last 6 months or so, however, service has been going downhill.

This culminated in my email going totally down about two weeks ago after sporadic periods of uptime for about a week before that as well as their servers getting hacked (again), causing my site to be defaced.

To make matters worse, they were basically ignoring any and all trouble reports, so I was stuck without my main email, which I had been using up to that point during my job search.

Not exactly the best time for your email to take a dive.

About a week ago, I changed hosting providers, and taking the advice of Jeff Blankenberg, went with Crystal Tech.

Over that week, I’ve made more phone calls and written more emails to the two companies in question than I care to think about. The transfer process was, to say the least, not exactly smooth, but it’s finally over (I hope). On the upside, I can say that Crystal Tech’s phone support is both polite and helpful, which is always nice.

Hopefully their service is just as good as their support and their data center doesn’t explode.

Current mood: tired
Current music: Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American

It’s not distracting. I’m just a freak.

January’s CONDG meeting featured David Giard (DavidGiard) speaking about Microsoft’s Managed Extensibility Framework (MEF).

The technology looks interesting and I may have to look into it when I have some free time, but it’s not the only thing during the presentation that caught my eye. As stupid as it may sound, one of the things that got my attention was that, in his code samples, many of his variables were declared as var instead of using explicit type declaration.

I’d looked at non explicit type declaration before and had decided that there was no real benefit to it and that its main impact was to decrease readability. However, seeing it used rather liberally in David’s code, I thought I might want to take another look.

The MSDN documentation still left me with my original thought on the subject, so, since I follow people who almost certainly know more on the subject than I do, I turned to twitter.

The conclusion that was arrived at regarding the matter was that they were useful when using LINQ, but tended to hamper readability and introduced some ambiguity into the code that the complier might not always sort out the way you want it to otherwise.

The really neat part of the twitter exchange was that David himself ended up chiming in as well because he still wasn’t sold on it either and was wondering much the same thing that I was, having run into it in a code review that day (a few days after his presentation).

So, on the upside, at least I wasn’t the only one who thinks about/isn’t sure about this sort of thing. I consider this a positive thing because I always feel like such a noob no matter how much I learn (I’ll get to that a little later).

David did, however, have another concern as well – that his code examples were distracting attention from what he was trying to introduce people to. In all honesty, since I said I started thinking about it due to his presentation, it was a legitimate concern.

I had to assure him that it didn’t distract from his presentation, but, rather that the problem was with me (I tend to jokingly end that statement with “because I’m a freak”).

The fact is that I tend to notice a *lot* of things and retain, at least for a while, more than a little of it. This is especially true when I’m someplace where I’m already trying to pay attention.

To be honest, I used to retain almost *everything* that I ran across before I started dealing with certain stressors that tend to divert my attention more often than I’d like (this will, hopefully, change here before too long as I don’t like the way said stressors are affecting me). Granted, I tend to have problems when I’m overloaded, and one of the first things to go is my ability to remember names of people I’ve just met (faces I generally have nailed, but names are another matter, so if I forget your name, it’s not an insult).

Now, to return briefly to the fact that I always feel like a noob.

The CONDG meetings now have a short talk after the main presentation, and January’s was presented by Leon Gersing (fallenrogue), the subject of which was change.

The talk itself was very good and, with the things going on at the moment seemed rather like a cosmic clue-by-four, but the pertinent part of the talk for this entry is the fact that some of us feel like we never know enough and we’re never ready.

I hung my head and raised my hand in the back of the room, getting called out good-naturedly by Leon for it. heh

Sometimes I have to slap myself and tell myself that I’ll never know everything (I hate not knowing something - as people who know me well can attest) and that I have to just start on the project and work out the rest of the problems as they come up.

Part of the problem, I think, is that I know far too many people that know *way* more than I do, so I always feel like I'm playing catch-up. Not that being around very smart, knowledgeable people is a problem, just that I always feel so behind by comparison. =]

Once I get into the groove, I don’t tend to sweat it, but the initial uncertainty (and, at times, insecurity) drives me up the wall. It even occasionally makes me want to hide under my bed because I always feel like everyone *else* knows this stuff and I’m the only clueless one even though I know that isn’t true (and, furthermore, I know that most people tend to make this crap up as they go along while trying to look all knowing).

You know that famous interview question of “What’s your greatest weakness?” That’s mine, though I usually phrase it that I sometimes worry about the details too much, because that really is the long and the short of it (plus it has the bonus that, unlike putting it the other way, it doesn’t make me sound neurotic lol).

Current mood: tired but caffeinated
Current music: Tonic - Open Up Your Eyes

Philosophy, Monks, and Rude People

One morning, several years ago, I was sitting on a bench, looking at a sand painting and waiting for the Tibetan monks that were making said painting to arrive.

As I was sitting there, an older woman walked up to where I was sitting and asked me “Are you Buddha?”

I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I assume that she meant to ask if I was with the monks, but it was, to be honest, a rather rude manner in which she addressed me (as though she thought I was some piece of scum there to serve her). I was being talked to as though I were some sideshow freak.

However, my other thought on the matter was that it was an interesting philosophical question.

Am I Buddha?

Well, I’m not Buddhist. In fact, I’m Taoist, if anyone really cares to know (I don't try to hide it, but I don't shove it in everyone's face either). However, if you think about it, the Buddhist concept of the Buddha nature is similar to the Taoist concept of P`u, or the uncarved block.

It could also be argued that some part of the matter which made up Siddhartha Gautama could have been a part of my bodily makeup at some point in my lifetime, so in that rather literal way, I suppose I could be considered to be Buddha.

Then you have the fact that Buddhists believe that we all have the potential to become a Buddha and that some believe Bodhisattvas walk among us, so it's possible that I am such a being (though I seriously doubt it as I am a little too snarky and sarcastic to be considered a being of pure good heh).

In the middle of my philosophical reverie, the woman who sparked it snapped at me rather rudely (even more so than previously), demanding to know if I was Buddha.

Having had enough of being treated like a piece of dirt, I informed her that I was not Buddhist, that the monks would not arrive for another hour or more and she should learn some manners.

She stormed off in a huff.

In the end, I was rather glad that I was the one who was there when she arrived. First, it provided an interesting piece of food for though. Second, if she was that snotty toward me, I can only imagine how she’d react to a bunch of “weird” guys in robes.

I saved them more than a headache or two, I’m sure. Hey, they may consider life to be suffering, but not all suffering has to be endured =]

Current mood: contemplative
Current music: Def Leppard - Photograph

Developers, Memes and Swag oh my!

It seems that life really *is* a series of internet memes.

As usual, this past Thursday was spent at the dev group meeting. While we were eating pizza before the talks started, one of the guys started dumping a parmesan cheese pack on his cheese pizza.

One of the others asked him what he had, so he told the guy. Being a smartass (as so many of us are, but not generally in a bad way), I couldn’t resist.

“Yo, dawg! I heard you like cheese, so I put cheese in your cheese so you can cheese while you cheese!”

Which was responded to with a Kanye meme followed by one of the guys saying he’d pay me $5 to run up during the first presentation and interrupt it.

“Yeah, I can see that. ‘Yo, I know you’re doing a presentation, and I’mma let you finish, but John Kruger’s presentation was the greatest one of all time!’”

It just sort of ended up going from there.

No, I didn’t take the bet lol

Get us away from the internet and we still do overused internet memes. Go figure. heh

All in all, the talks this time were decent and I picked up a few things to look into. As an added bonus, I ended up winning a copy of Visual Studio Pro. Since I’ve been running standard, this is a nice upgrade.

After thinking about the last presentation for a while and letting my thoughts gather into something that vaguely resembled a useful collection, I decided to jot down some notes so I could give the presenter some feedback. Unfortunately, there isn’t any contact info for him on the CONDG page.

It’s a shame, because I think he could really use the feedback. It was pretty obvious that he wasn’t used to speaking to a group and there were a lot of places where his presentation could be refined (he’s planning on lengthening it and doing a full version at another meeting).

If anyone who goes to the CONDG meetings is reading this and knows Andrew Halowaty’s contact info (the guy who did the TDD talk), I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know so I can pass on the feedback.

Current mood: tired
Current music: Stone Temple Pilots – Interstate Love Song

Slice of Life.

Sometimes things happen that I just find myself wanting to share. This is one of them, taken from an email from Karyl.

“Robert (a co-worker) and I were discussing the amazing batman nipple armor and why it needs to have nipples.

I said maybe they shoot lasers.

He decided if he were a criminal, as soon as he saw lasers shooting from batman's nipples, he'd stop right then and there just to never have to see that again. lol”

Current mood: tired
Current music: Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me

I swear I’m not dead.

No, I’m not dead. I just feel like it since it’s been a bit crazy lately (as evidenced by the fact that I’m writing this at 1:30am).

Nothing horribly earth shattering, just the standard insanity really. Though somewhere in the middle of everything, I’m working on redoing my site in XHTML and CSS instead of the abomination that it currently exists as. heh

Hopefully it should be up in the next week or so since I can’t exactly devote all of my time to it with everything else I’m doing.

To give you an idea of how little I’ve been sleeping lately, I apparently slept through the carbon monoxide alarm while I was at Karyl’s after the .NET dev group meeting. This, for me, is weird since I tend to wake up at *everything*. Thankfully it was a false alarm and I didn’t die. :P

On the upside, I got a great gift from Karyl for my birthday – a pair of well made Chinese ring daggers. Good steel, good temper, and great balance. They really feel alive in the hand. I have to say that they’re rather impressive and a joy to use.

Yes, I am, among other things, a blade geek. You should have figured this out by now. If nothing else, the sub heading of the blog should have been a clue. =]

Current mood: tired
Current music: Greg Kihn Band - The Breakup Song

Just A Reminder.

This Saturday, May 9th, I will be out for part of the day. Seeing as how it's my birthday and everything, I thought I'd take part of the day off.

You can still contact me via email. I'll get it that day, I swear (unless something untoward occurs, of course).

As always, in case of emergency, I may be contacted via phone. Friends and those with whom I have fallen out of regular contact are also welcome and encouraged to call, no emergency required. The number is on the contact info page of my website as it has been for quite some time. =]

Current mood: somewhere between calm and restless
Current music: Seal - Don't Cry

Digital Memories.

Events of the past few weeks in the technical arena have caused more than a little reminiscence on my part, because they touch on things that sort of helped shape my technical adolescence.

First, Oracle decided to buy Sun.

It seems odd that the company whose database I have both sworn by and sworn at (depending on the time in question) has bought the company whose hardware and OS I have also both sworn by and at (again, depending on the time in question and whether or not I had slept in the last 2 or 3 days).

When Jeff Blankenburg asked on twitter how Java developers felt about the move (I have also been a Java dev on top of it all, alternately swearing at and by *that* product as well – there’s a lot of swearing involved if you haven’t noticed. Heh), I said that it sort of felt like the end of an era.

I didn’t feel like it was the end of an era because I thought Java was doomed. Oracle really likes and leverages Java, so that wasn’t a big concern. In fact, I was more concerned when they started moving Java to open source because I know what fork hell can do to a project if you aren’t lucky.

The reason it struck me so deeply was because I cut my collegiate programming teeth on Sun hardware running Solaris. I have fond memories of being in the Sun labs at OU - cranking out code (generally in xemacs, if you really care to know), chatting with my friends and classmates, alternately teaching them and learning from them, and generally causing trouble.

What came to my mind were the late night coding sessions (the labs were one of the only academic areas that never really closed, and if we found the doors locked, we had the go ahead to call the prof who eventually became the dept chair to open them), leaving quotes on the blackboard that covered one wall, and the 2am call to Papa Johns one Saturday to order half a dozen pizzas.

For some reason, the guy who answered the phone at Papa J’s thought it was a prank. He argued with me even when I offered to pay in advance. I finally got in touch with the manager, who, it turns out, was covering for the normal night manager and recognized me from all of the orders I placed at the Center for lunches (we tipped *really* well. The drivers used to fight over us.)

The manager sent the guy who answered the phone on the delivery run and included several free two liters of soda as an apology for the treatment. (Don’t worry. We were nice to the guy. After all, it *is* weird being the only academic building open 24/7 on campus.)

As for the quotes on the blackboard, some of them ended up generating entire written conversations over the course of multiple days. My favorite to post during finals week was “If you wish to drown, why torture yourself with shallow water?”

These are the sorts of things that *I* associate with Sun – learning, camaraderie, occasional crazed nights bug hunting, and generally great times in the academic/professional sense. So, like I said, it seems like the end of an era and I feel kind of sad that Sun may not be Sun anymore after this.

I haven’t even touched a Solaris box in a few years, but I still feel nostalgic. In fact, as silly as it may sound, If I get stressed while working on code, I try to picture myself in my favorite lab and it tends to relax me and cheer me up a bit.

The second event of the last few weeks stirred up its own set of feelings as well.

What event, you ask? Today, I found out that Geocities is officially dead.

Now, before you all gag and wonder why I would miss Geocities of all things, keep in mind that I was on it when it was really about the only option for free web hosting out there. We’re talking probably 1996 or 1997.

A few of my friends and I had sites there. One was in CapeCanaveral, one in Soho/Flats, one in Hollywood, and I was off in Tokyo/Tower (yes, I was off in Asia even then heh). We’d had computers for several years, but this was one of our first trips out into the internet as participants instead of mere spectators (largely because none of us had modems at home at the time. Hey, it *was* the mid 90’s after all).

Geocities may not have had as large of a direct influence on my life as the Sun labs at my alma mater or, say, #dalnet (which, if that ever disappears, I may well cry), but it still means quite a lot to me.

It sounds trivial, I know, but it really helped to get me interested in a lot of other things, and for that, if for no other reason, I will miss it. After all, we think things on the internet will be around forever (and in some sense, they may), but all too often they are lost to time or at least lost in the noise.

It is for that reason that I want to take my hat off and pay my respects to the newly deceased Geocities and the changed Sun which will continue from this day forward. While I am at it, I would also like to pay my respect and give my thanks to all of those people who have helped me along the way, both in person and out across the ether as well as those who will help me in the future.

I promise that I will try to pay it forward.

Current mood: contemplative
Current music: Melissa Etheridge - If I Wanted To

Holidays, a recap.

Well, I suppose I should give an overview of the last week since I've been putting it off (i.e. recovering) for the last few days. heh

I wrangled it so that I had a few days in a row that I could spend doing little or nothing on project work (mostly because everyone else is out of the office too) and spent a few days with Karyl.

The drive up, which normally takes an hour and a half or so took almost three due to freezing rain hitting when I was within 20 miles of her place. Thankfully I was driving through a suburb at the time and not on the outerbelt, so I didn't have to deal with idiots trying to drive at normal highway speeds in the ice. As an added plus, it was one of the nicer suburbs (one of the top 100 places to live in 2007), so the other drivers were all fairly great about letting each other change lanes, etc.

After I arrived, that evening and the next day were filled largely with catching up, watching movies, and generally enjoying each other's company. It was a nice change of pace from the insane stress we've both been dealing with over the last several months.

At some point during all of this, her DSL finally got hooked up, so I spent a little while getting that set up. We never did get Earthlink's email program to actually transfer out her messages through any sane means, though. I even tried to get it to use imap with a gmail account so the messages would replicate to the gmail's servers and we could just set up thunderbird to snag them all with pop3.

Earthlink's mail program just stuck its tongue out at me. It wasn't a huge deal; just frustrating.

Christmas morning saw us getting up at about 6am to get ready to go to her parents' house. This is, I think, a form of torture for me at the moment because I've been used to working until about 3am for the last couple of years, so I was sort of zombie-like until after breakfast.

According to her parents, it's nothing compared to what she and her sister used to do as kids - waking them up at 3am to open presents. Apparently they've been getting this as payback for years lol

Presents were opened (after hearing about mine and how much I like it, her mother got her father a gps), lunch was had, Christmas Vacation was watched, and we finally piled back into the car to return to her place where I helped put together her new office chair.

A few hours later, due to weather forecasts (the possibility of more freezing rain) and the knowledge that traffic on the 26th would be a nightmare, I started my drive back. Thankfully it only took about 1:45 this time, and traffic was light in the direction I was headed.

Totally exhausted from the trip (I only got about 6 hours sleep over the course of 3 days), I ended up crashing for 10-11 hours that night and still woke up tired lol

In fact, I think I'm still recovering...

All in all, it was a nice trip despite the weather. In addition, I have to say that I think I'm falling in love with my gps.

Current mood: tired
Current music: Ghost in the Shell SAC - Living Inside the Shell

Slice of Life.

Sometimes there are conversations that just have to be shared for the amusement factor. This is a snippet of one of those between my girlfriend, Karyl, and myself carried out via email while we were both taking a break from working.

Karyl: What kind of chocolate have YOU been eating? lol
Me: The chocolate of the innocent :P
Karyl: Who do you know that bleeds chocolate and where can I find them? :P
Me: They're really rare. They were especially prized by the Mayans and Aztecs, so they went into hiding...
Karyl: Find me a colony of them. I might just have to turn vampire. :P mmm chooocolate.

GPS Fun.

Over the last few days, I've been playing with my new GPS. Among other things, I've had great fun looking through the local points of interest.

It's taught me a few things. Among them:

• There are 3 libraries in this town including the genealogy library (I already knew this, but I wasn't sure where the other two were).
• There are 20 banks/atms within 6.1 miles of where I currently am.
• There are 52 churches within 6.1 miles of my current location.

Think about that for a second. There are 3 libraries in the whole town, but within just 6.1 miles of where I am sitting right now, there are 52 churches. That says a lot about this area.

Then I started noticing the names of some of the churches.

The First Church of God - That's a little pretentious don't you think? I mean, honestly...

Chillicothe Bible Church - I wasn't aware that this town had it's very own bible, but that might help to explain some of the really screwed up parts of the worldview around here. They probably took out all of the love thy neighbor stuff and added in more than a little extra fire and brimstone...

And my favorite of the ones I saw...

Deliverance Baptist Church - I kind of wonder if there's a kid playing banjo outside the door and if sermons start with "Boy, you've got a pertty mouth..."
(I can make those jokes. I grew up around an area that could have inspired that movie...)

Though I have to say that none of the names are as good as the one that has to be my favorite.

About 10 miles or so from where I grew up, sitting at the side of a road I used to drive to go to one of my favorite fishing spots, was a little church. It wasn't always a church. In fact, it started out its life as a one room schoolhouse, but it had been a church for quite some time by the time I was born.

But yes, it was a tiny little church with a hand painted sign - The Holy Ghost Filled Church of Jesus Christ.

The name has since changed, and I wish I had gotten a photo.

My second favorite church name had to be one in my hometown. It was called The Church on the Move. The only problem is that, as long as I knew it was there, it never seemed to go anywhere unless it was like Baba Yaga's hut and grew chicken legs to run around the town with while everyone was asleep...

I somehow doubt it, but you have to admit that a church running around town on a set of chicken legs is sort of a fun mental image. Especially if there were unsuspecting people inside at the time *giggles*

Current mood: Tired but ammused
Current music: New Order - Crystal

New Toy.

I've been depending on Mapquest pretty heavily recently, so I figured it was time to break down and just get a GPS.

On the advice of a number of people I talk to, I ended up deciding on the Garmin Nuvi. It's small, has a decent battery life, does what I need without a serious case of feature creep, and the price is decent, so I picked one up.

It got here yesterday. The first surprise was that, instead of the unit I ordered, they sent me an upgraded model (no complaint here). I was, however, kind of annoyed that, while there was a car charger, there was no AC charger included. It's not a huge deal. I just have to get an adapter, but still.

So, in the meantime, I'm recharging it on my computer (it charges through its data port).

I spent part of the night playing around with it, adding favorite locations, etc.

After a while, I started looking at the built in points of interest, and ended up finding things I never knew were around here. One of them, however, made me do a double take:

DUI Limo Services.

Would you want to get a ride from a place called DUI Limo Services? I have to say that I'd be a little reluctant to use them for fear of truth in advertising...

Current music: Adam & The Ants - Stand And Deliver
Current mood: tired, but amused