Friday, December 07, 2012

GPS - The Angry Wife Edition

I live in a city where I frequently have no idea how to get where I’m going. I used to use MapQuest before I got my GPS several years ago.

It’s a wonderful device, but I refer to it as “The angry little woman in the box” because the voice sounds rather annoyed when it says “recalculating” if you miss your turn or opt for another route. In fact, I think they must have multiple clips for “recalculating”, because she sounds angrier every time she says it, but that could just be my imagination.

It’s like having an irate spouse in the car with you (my girlfriend agrees).


“Turn left”

I don’t want to turn left. This road is a better option

“Recalculating. In 0.5 miles, turn left”

No, I want to stay on this road. It lets me bypass a lot of nasty intersections and is only 2 minutes slower

“If you don’t listen to me, why do you even take me along?”

I do listen to you, but in this case, I know a better route for this part of the trip

“You don’t love me anymore. I saw you looking at that other GPS in the store”

That’s a model for hiking and geocaching

“She’s a model, is she?? I bet you felt her up too! Damned skinny bitch”

Oh, now you’re just being silly

“I am NOT being silly. You don’t touch me like you used to! I catch you looking at other GPS’es and now you don’t even listen when I tell you to turn left!”

I’m just saying that this time, going straight is a better option.

“That’s it! I’m going to my mother’s! TURN RIGHT!”



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