Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I Don’t Play Favorites.

I often catch flack from some of the “Free” software people over saying things like the fact that Microsoft actually makes some good products and seems to have a nice, positive environment for their employees (going by what I’ve heard from people who have worked there).

One thing about me that a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that I have a perspective on things that seems to be different than most.

I don’t care if you’re my best friend or someone I can’t stand. If you do something well, or do something to help people, you will get respect from me. You could be, in my opinion, a real jerk whom I have no desire to socialize with, but if you do good work, I have absolutely no problem telling anyone who asks.

If you do charity or the like for ulterior motives, that respect may be lessened (if it is, it’s generally only a little) and I may point out those motives, but you still get the respect you are due because you’re out there doing it.

Heck, you even get the respect from me if you honestly try and fail, because you deserve it. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

In a similar fashion, it doesn’t matter how I feel about you, if you do something bad or do something poorly, I will take a critical view of it.

I won’t be a jerk about it. In fact, I’m actually quite tactful and even generally nice (as a result, I have, on several occasions, been called on to be the moderator in a group), but my opinion of you may slip a bit (again, I realize that sometimes things happen). Make it a habit, and it certainly will.

I will agree with people that I agree with on a subject and disagree with people that I disagree with. This is not based on the person, but the facts in question. In that regard, I honestly don’t play favorites, and that drives some people up the wall.

That’s something that a lot of people seem to have a problem grasping when it comes to me. This, I think, is largely because most people are used to traveling in their little group, agreeing with them for fear of being ousted if they don’t and disagreeing with the people that group hates, no matter what, for the same reason.

I just can’t do that. It makes no sense to me. As a result, I tend to get along with a lot of different groups, and I tend to get respect from a lot of people that I don’t get along with.

Current mood: I’m really not sure
Current music: AFI – Love Like Winter


Karyl said...

This would be his girlfriend... attesting to the fact that he does not play favorites. LOL

And me being the self-conscious creature that I am, I'm still in the process of learning (in the sense of ingraining it into my head) that his disagreeing or pointing out mistakes doesn't necessarily mean he likes you any less.

It weirds people out, I've noticed. And occasionally gets comments like "how can you put up with him treating you like that?" Like what? Being honest? Oh gee, how horrible of him. :P

I swear honesty and logic are losing their value in the world...

James Hollingshead said...

Yeah, but I'm nice about it. It's not like I do it in a way that makes people feel bad about themselves, and I don't cut people down for being wrong or making a mistake (the general exception being if the mistake was dangerous to someone else).

I really do give points for effort and thought and I make sure that people know that, but I won't agree with you just because you want me to.

And I dread questions like "Do these pants make my butt look big?" I'm always tempted to say something like "No, the fact that your butt is big makes your butt look big. Those pants just makes your butt look [purple|khaki|blue|etc]" but I'm too nice a guy to do that. :P

Karyl said...


That's okay... I once found a pair of pants that made my butt look POINTY. Now that was disturbing.... shame, they were a nice color, perfect fit... and on sale. Had to put them back on the rack because I just could not stand the thought of having a pointy butt. :P

Would that be the opposite of the Dilbertian pointy head, I wonder?

James Hollingshead said...

See, the problem is that I'm a nice guy with a smart-assed sense of humor.

I end up biting my tongue a lot unless I'm with people that really know me. lol