Sunday, May 18, 2008

Late night pondering.

You know, it's funny.

I started training with a sword when I was a kid. I've done it for almost two decades now.

I've got more than a few swords of all different types, but for some reason, the one I feel most drawn to is my old bokku-to. It's just a simple wooden katana, its grip worn and blade splintered from years of use.

It's one of the swords I used in order to learn to move on after the end of a very important relationship. That period took well over a year, and more than took its toll on the sword. I don't use it for fighting anymore because of the wear, but it's still my favorite blade for forms.

It was, I suppose, the thing that taught me how to get back to basics. I sometimes gain some measure of comfort from just using it now (as strange as that may sound to some people).

Given the events of the last few years, I think it might be time I re-learned that lesson. I realized not long ago that I've been letting some things get in the way of doing what I should be doing.

Sometimes we trap ourselves in a cycle of actions and emotions that only serves to hold us back. Breaking free, for me at any rate, seems to be approached by getting back to basics - tearing things down to rebuild them anew.

I'm ready to try. I know it won't be easy, but it needs to be done. With lots of effort, and a little luck, I may make it, because it is definitely time to move on.

Here's to hoping there's still a little magic, and some more lessons, in my old friend.

Current mood: troubled yet calm
Current music: Ivy - Edge of the Ocean

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